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OK, we know that you will
pester us with this stupid question, so here it goes (at least as far as we are
allowed to by the Elders). But no more questions, understood? The next asshole asking
for more information will be tracked down and dealt with.
Ex – IAF (Israeli Air Force)
pilot. This is the reason his face cannot be shown till this day – IAF
regulations. Hundreds of sorties, wounded seven times in the line of duty and
twice in pub brawls.
Was forced to retire under a
false pretense of using his F-15 jet for personal reasons. As if jumping over
the pond to get your spouse a new Balenciaga dress or some trinket is a crime
today! But no, these royal jerks in the so-called military police just had to
make a showcase out of him. Now we know why, at least (see below).
Ex – obstetrician. Treated
thousands of aspiring mothers, saving uncounted lives and neglecting his own
family (seven wives in a row left him, the last one with a night guard in a
circus).
Was forced to retire, after
5 women (supposedly unconnected – ha!) complained that he took liberties with
their bodies while they were under influence of the laughing gas. Even when his
lawyer proved conclusively that obstetricians do not use laughing gas, the
judge, obviously pre-briefed, ruled against him. Now we know why, at least (see
below).
The above picture is the only
one in existence; it was taken during the boot camp training course in one of
the secret Mossad facilities. Served honorably in many different countries,
carrying out the most daring assassination projects. Never used firearms or
knives, always relying on that sweet face of hers and the first paralyzing blow
below the belt. A certain motormouth who thought he is divulging certain
nuclear secrets will never forget the blond wig she used for this specific
assignment.
Was not retired, as far as
the other team members are allowed to know. She is responsible for the physical
protection of the team and miscellaneous Hasbara assignments related to some
posters that may get out of line (that means you, bastards, and no firewall
will help you!)
After many years of fruitful
employment as a plumber, KalamazooKid was forced to retire because of an absurd
charge of connecting the gas pipe to a toilet bowl under the influence of a few
measly beers. The evidence was obviously cooked. The real reason for the burned
posterior of the VIP’s body and the segment of pipe stuck in it will be never
made public. Now we know why, at least (see below).
WolfieSmith, the new member
of our team, was born in a Jewish Ethiopian family. At a tender age of 3 years,
Wolfie was kidnapped by a cannibal tribe and spent there the next 25 years of
his life, feeding mostly on human meat and a rare porcupine, rat or other
roadkill. The last ten years of his captivity, WolfieSmith, having a natural
aptitude to bullshitting people, served as a shaman of the tribe. A member of an
Israeli agriculture mission passing
through the area was intrigued by the atypical bone structure of Wolfie’s face,
discovered on Wolfie’s left buttock a birthmark that the Elders genetically
instilled in all African Jewish tribes. Wolfie was traded for 250 kg of
Canadian bacon presented to the tribe as authentic meat of Caribbean maidens. On arrival to Israel Wolfie asked for a
job that would make his contact with meat minimal, and became a gardener. But a
short time after that he was fired and transferred to our team. Now we know
why.
WolfieSmith undergone a
total change of his appearance and even his color (an ancient Elders’ secret
ability). Since his training as a shaman enabled him to cast spells of
extremely wide range on any person in the world, it makes him invaluable in the
psy-op area, in addition to his talents as a propaganda warrior.
As you can see now, all but
one members of the team were forced to retire from their gainful employment
under obviously concocted reasons. Only after a long period of time the Elders
decided to tell us why.
It appears that we all are
fitting the profile of the small but important link in the chain of world
domination – that of the Hasbara (propaganda, as our Soviet colleagues used to
say). We are not told what character traits played a decisive role, but we
guess that being victims of Turret syndrome in various degrees is one of these
traits.
So here we are – ostensibly
being protected by TheMaiden and her posse of trained goons, but in reality
being just timed for performance, sweating over our keyboards, churning out
enormous quantities of Zionist propaganda and in the rare moments of rest
remembering tenderly our past. It (the past) looks more and more unreal and
remote as days pass, so we can deal with it.
Besides, being paid enormous
amounts of money (some of it in gold bars, which is the preferable currency of
the Elders) and being allowed to kidnap, rape and torture any goyim we happen to
like, goes a long way to reimbursing us for the mental strain. Of course, that
fresh blood of Christian babies we add to our menu almost daily is something
entirely different from the swill they sell to civilians.
Yes, we are familiar with
your cowardly ways, you gutless baleful anti-Semitic worms, you. So, if you
want to say something dirty and/or rude to us, here is an e-mail address: simplyjews@gmail.com . If your rudeness
is of an exceptional quality (and believe us, we are the experts), we even
promise to publish your mails or some choice expletives. We shall definitely
return the favor in kind and with percentage in any case, you can count on it,
you … OK, I shall take that breather…
I am cool now, so the last
remark: if you have something nice to say, here are two recommendations: